TheDailyQuietPost

Hey, y’all.
I know it’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and shared anything here, but whew… life has been life-ing. Grab a cup of tea and get comfortable, because I need to vent a little and let y’all know what’s been going on.
I wish I were coming back with everything figured out and a beautiful story about how it all fell into place. But that’s not where I am right now. This is me showing up in the middle of it, still trying to make sense of things.

The Chapter I Thought Would Be About Finding Myself
My husband and I have been separated for two years and some months now. Leaving that long-term relationship was a major change, and I thought this next chapter would be about finding myself and getting my life back on track.
I was supposed to be taking time for me—figuring out what I wanted, what I needed, and who I was outside of my marriage.
But things didn’t go quite the way I planned.
Instead of giving myself that time, I ended up in another relationship. And now, looking back, I feel like getting into it when I did may not have been the best decision for me.
That’s not an easy thing to admit, but it’s the truth.

Getting Caught Up in the Love I Had Been Missing
The love and affection felt so good, y’all. He was giving me attention and tenderness that I hadn’t felt with my husband, and I got caught up in it.
At the time, I was overwhelmed by how good it felt to receive what I had been missing. I wanted to enjoy it. I wanted to feel loved.
Now I’m asking myself some hard questions: Did I give myself enough time? Was I ready for another relationship, or was I just grateful to finally feel that affection?
I don’t have all the answers yet. But I’m realizing that wanting love and being ready for a relationship may have been two different things for me.

Trying to Keep My Faith Through It All
These past two years and some months have been a challenge. There have been moments when I’ve felt like the devil was working overtime, and I’ve struggled more than I know how to put into words.
I’m trying to keep my faith. I really am.
But I also want to be honest about the moments when I get tired. Sometimes everything feels like too much, and I feel like throwing in the towel. I want to believe things will get better, but some days it’s hard to see past what I’m going through.
I’m not sharing this because I have a lesson neatly wrapped up with a bow. I’m sharing it because this is where I am. I can have faith and still admit that I’m overwhelmed. I can keep trying and still have days when I don’t know what to do next.

Taking It One Day at a Time
Right now, I’m trying to come back to what I originally wanted: finding myself and getting my life back on track.
I’m still figuring out what that looks like. There are feelings I need to sit with and decisions I need to think through. For once, I want to give myself room to do that without pretending I already have it all together.
I have so much more to talk about, but I’m going to leave it here for today. Coming back to this blog and being honest with y’all is a start.
You know the saying: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Well, y’all, I’m still working on my recipe.